My mother had a stroke

My mom~ I've resented her most of my life because out of 4 children, she picked me to give away (over and over). She's been telling stories (lies) her entire life instead of owning up to her choices. Now she can't talk much and it's great-she sweet without all the BS. I still want to ask her questions, to get the truth...I have dreams about some of the places I stayed....no one will fill in the blanks. Not only did my mother give me away, but the prospective adoptors didn't keep me. What's that mean anyway?!? I was a cute little girl?!?!..maybe not.

I ended up with my father and stepmother from the age of 6. Two mothers equals no mothering. You can't accept anything from either without feeling disloyal.My father died in 1998.

My mother can say a few phrases, like "I love you", "Bye bye", "Yes" and "No". I wonder if this horrible situation she finds herself in has freed her from having to persuade us that she's not that bad.

I like to pretend that I was so special and sweet that maybe my mother thought It would be best to let me go as I was always running away. My sister tells me I was brat.

I can't imagine giving away my children. I understand it was not uncommon in the 50s.

This thing effects my life, less and less as I let go of needing to know all the answers. Click here for a cartoon I can really identify with.

This picture was taken at a one and only family reunion a few days after the 9/11. There were lots of people taking pictures. I was looking at one photographer and my mother was looking at another.

I must love my mother because when I'm very very sad, I still cry out for her. Sheesh.